Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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