So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
