You made me cry and you don't even care
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
