what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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