Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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