last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
