I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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