when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
