So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
