Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
