I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
