he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
