Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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