I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize