did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
