just come out here and I will go home with you...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize