Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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