Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
