Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
