sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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