so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
