I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
