Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
