just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
