Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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