week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
