Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
