no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize