We're facebook friends in real life
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize