Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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