wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
