Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Panties = found
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
