Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
