okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
