I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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