I should be sponsored by Trojan
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
