I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
