before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
