the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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