I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
