I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I think I just sharted jello shots
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