i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
