Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
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she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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