sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
