I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
