How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
