he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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