Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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