Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Panties = found
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
