failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize