Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You were trust falling into bushes
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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