How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This is my gift to your gina
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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