There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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