How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The ass gains better be worth it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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