do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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