I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
