So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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