i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
porn star boner night. come get it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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